Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Ghosts of boyfriends past.

(this little gem was left on my car years ago)

It's that time of the year again here in San Diego. You know, when the bathing suits come on and the relationships go off... This is a college/military town. Everyone is constantly surrounded by hot, young bodies. So it's only natural for minds to wander when these hot, young bodies become less clothed.

So, after a rocky-yet-wonderful three years, I find myself single again. Only this time, it's different. I've grown up. Yes, of course I miss him. Yes, of course I still cry a little - it really hasn't been that long since we called it quits. But inside I know that together, where he is in his life right now, we couldn't be happy. I couldn't be happy.

I still don't have complete closure. I still have to pick up a few important things and return a few important things. We're still friends on facebook although I've selected the "hide" button when it comes to his updates. It's hard to see him try and replace me with lesser versions of myself. One of them even shared my name. That had to have been weird. But that's not what this post is about. This post is about realization and empowerment. It's about learning from your mistakes and bettering life. So i'll start from the beginning.


1. Be honest with your parents. They're going to find out sooner or later - and honestly, seeing as they've most likely grown up in the 60's and 70's - they've probably done much, much worse.

2. Never, ever turn a person into your everything friend. Yeah, I know, they're great. But I'm pretty sure the saying goes: "don't put all your eggs in one basket." That saying has been around for ever. Trust me, old people know everything.

3. It's ok to have the same friends. But make sure you both have your own friends too, because if and when shit hits the fan, you'll need back up that doesn't have to think twice about who they're going to back up.

4. Doing everything with just one "special" person is lame. It's comfortable. It might feel fun. It might feel right. But it's not. It's boring.

5. Talking your dad up to sound scarier and meaner is a good thing.

6. Don't fall into a routine, but if you have to, spice it up every once and a while. It keeps life interesting.

7. Hobbies are important. They make solitude manageable for those that detest it and even more wonderful for those that enjoy it.

8. Competition should never be anything more than friendly.

9. People get comfortable with handouts. That means they don't appreciate it anymore and they've come to expect it.

10. Never become a sugar-daddy or sugar-momma under the age of 35 because you're working just as hard as they are.

11. Your place is never, ever too far to be picked up from if you're good friends and your car isn't working.

12. An able-bodied person does not "NEED" marijuana to deal with basic life. When my dad "needed" alcohol to deal with it, my mother left him.

13. You deserve to be spoiled now and again because you deserve it.

14. Nobody can love a person who kisses their ass.

15. Never do something just because somebody else wants you to. Do it because you want to.

16. Don't be too available. It makes you seem more interesting and it forces you to be more independent and live your life.

17. If someone doesn't respect perfect strangers they probably don't respect you.

18. Never put someone on a pedestal. Everyone has flaws and from that high up they can only let you down.

19. If you don't live together, don't get a pet together. That's just basic common sense.

20. If someone is abusive to you once - be it physically, verbally, or mentally - they can be abusive to you again.

That's it for now. But because it was so much fun to write, I'm sure I'll write a sequel. I had a long day of surfing and hiking so I'm hitting the hay. Miss you all and I love all of your blog posts, comments, and emails. G'nite.


Michelle n' Charlie said...

What a profound, educated and learn-ed blonde woman you have become :) I like the note, I hope it made you giggle inside a little. I like that you have started blogging. I also think those are very important points, all of them. From the routine, friends, hobbies, "needing" foreign substances, all of it is very true and i being in a long-term relationship KNOW that ALL of those things are extremely important because even though in a relationship you two sort of become one, you can't lose your sense of individuality which is VERY easy to do. Keep 'em coming missy!

Anonymous said...

I wish more people believed in 12. So many people I thought grew up but still need 12 to survive. Enjoyed your blog. First time visitor.