Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Tuesdays can be horrible

"Why?" You might naively ask. Well Tuesdays are all you can eat wing days at Hooters. As one of the busiest Hooters in the world, it's almost impossible to describe the chaos that ensues. Plates upon plates of all you can eat wings leave the kitchen in record numbers. Ranch dressings are consumed in artery-clogging quantities. We aren't paid nearly enough for the amount of work we do that night. Two "gentlemen" were sat in my section and informed me of an expected 8 people that were to join their party. It took at least an hour for the eight to finally get there, and I had to continually come back to take separate orders. Eventually there were at least 20 people crammed into two tables meant to hold a max of 7 people each. People were standing around eating wings. People who didn't order were eating wings. I had beer orders shouted at me from unknown locations. All in all they were taken care of, until the check came. "Can we all get separate checks?"

OK. For everyone who has never dined out before, if you're going out to dinner with 30 of your closest friends, bring cash. It really simplifies things. When the check comes, all you need to do is look at the price of what you ordered, and take that out of your wallet, plus a little extra for a tip of course, because you know your waitress went above and beyond her bullshit tolerance for the evening. Didn't think to bring cash? That's ok! You can always put a CERTAIN AMOUNT on a credit/debit card! Yep that's right folks! You don't HAVE to put the whole bill on one card! Then, when you get the receipt, you can add in the tip to the total and just sign away! It's THAT easy! But please don't expect me to remember all 30 of your orders when you must know I have at least three other tables to look after and you've ordered 5 different types of beer over the course of the evening. I hope you enjoyed my little dining out 101 course.

If some of your "friends" leave the restaurant without paying their bill, you're stuck footing it. There is no get out of jail free card. If you don't pay for it, your lovely waitress pays for it on top of putting up with all of your shenanigans for the past three hours. So please, just pay the bill and maybe think about getting some new friends.

No comments: