Tuesday, March 24, 2009

The Monday Night From Hell

In general, Monday nights are slow. Chances are you'll have a slow night and your shift will end early. This night was not the case. When we cut down to a five section chart, my section moved clear across the restaurant, leaving me with my original five FULL tables and giving me six new empty ones. When we switch to a new chart, we retain our original tables and take on just a few more, but since I had an entire new section, I had to keep five of my full tables and take on six more. Once the tables in my old section left, the girl who has those tables in her new section takes them. Get it? I hope so.

Well the (new) host proceeded to QUADRUPLE seat my new section, sending me into the early stages of cardiac arrest. Keep in mind, there are 16 steps I must deliver perfectly, and step one is "greet table within 30 seconds" quickly followed by "take the guest's drink order and deliver drinks under 3 minutes." Now, if the guests knew the steps and went about everything in order, this may be possible after being quadruple sat, but as we know, this is never the case. It's hooters. People want to talk. People want their food, now. People want pictures. People don't like their food. Their beer is too flat. They want lemons instead of limes. This is overcooked. This is undercooked. Can I have a refill? It's my son's birthday! Hey do you know any tricks? Can you hula hoop and pour my beer? I want a tee shirt. Can you sign my tee shirt? etc. I just want to take this moment to thank my fellow Hooters Girls from the bottom of my heart. I love them. "Hey brit! I greeted table 14 for you and put in his drink order don't worry about it!" "Hey brit! What's your number? I just took table 25's food order!" "Hey brit I'll go chat up table 5 k!" Seriously. Talk about team work and selflessness. No one else had completely new sections or ten tables so I'm sure they felt bad for me, but I didn't have to ask anyone for help. They just did it. I no longer question why we are the #1 Hooters in California.

A few highlights of my Monday night:
-Cranky business man/slave driver from hell: This middle aged, well dressed, ass came in with his mail-order bride straight from North Korea. She, too, was reasonably well dressed but spoke only when spoken to, by him, in single word answers. He ordered her a water and a beer for himself. As she sat at an odd angle at the table, directly adjacent to him, he ordered an appetizer, which he ate himself only to complain to me about how terrible it was for 5 minutes. I offered to take it off of his bill and get him something else. After I checked on his new appetizer, a favorite of most guests, he complained yet again, and asked for the check, which I brought to him. The woman didn't touch her water or the food, staring off into space, probably thinking of happier times. When I came back to pick up the check, I saw that he had left me over 50% as a tip. I'll never understand these men.
-The table of college guys that offered to buy me sushi if I left my number. This happens quite frequently at Hooters but these pompous frat boys acted like they were offering me the Rosetta stone.
-A photographer from the SDSU newspaper came in to take pictures of us "in action" for their next issue. We had so much fun with this. My manager kept shooing me around in different areas, pouring beer, or sitting with guests while the photographer flashed away. My favorite was a photo with all of the girls jumping in the air by the bar. I'll try and get some of those pictures to put up here. Or at least a link to the newspaper site. I still owe you school girl dress up pictures, I haven't forgotten.

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