Monday, March 2, 2009
Harry Potter and the Double Entendre
So I like to read, and I especially love to read what other random people write... lately because of my new job, I've been following the writings of different Hooters girls around the United States, and quite possibly, the world. Today, thanks to the announcement of a fellow Hooters Girl's discovery of another Hooters Girl blog, I stumbled upon "Jedi mind tricks, among other things." and she's amazingly funny. Check her out under my Blog List.
"I am not ashamed to admit that I have read the Harry Potter series multiple times. I feel that I pick up things I missed every time I read them, and I specifically ( because I do this with everything) find a lot of sentences that could be, well, suggestive. Now, I hardly think that lots of little children interpret things that way and I really doubt J.K. Rowling did it on purpose, though who knows, but I can find a sexual innuendo in anything. I guess it's because I hang out with guys too much. Anyway, here are some of my favorites:
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
"Whoops, my wand is a little over-excited." -Professor Lockhart.
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
"Something silver white, something enormous erupted from the end of his wand."
"Can I have a look at Uranus, too, Lavender?" - Ron.
"Yeh've got to stroke 'em." -Hagrid.
"Hermione's mouth was slightly open after Harry had finished."
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
"Big bones. I'll give her big bones!" - Hagrid.
"Can I have a look at Uranus, too, Lavender?" -Ron.
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
"What do you mean I'm not brave in bed?" -Harry.
"But whether James really did take off Snape's pants, Harry never knew."
"Harry's heart began to pump very fast. Defense against external penetration?"
"Which left Harry free to sit on the grass and watch the foursome under the tree."
"Yeah, Montague tried to do us during break." -Fred.
"He came last night, when you were in bed." -Ron.
"Was it...was it you know what, darling? Did he use his- thing?" -Petunia.
"I know you did Mark Evans two nights ago."
"He was asking for it!" -Harry and Dudley."
"Quite astonishing the way you contrive to wriggle out of very tight holes." -Snape.
"... every part of him screaming for release, Harry felt the creature use him again..."
"Fred and I managed to keep our peckers up somehow" -George (British version!)
"Ha ha ha, Harry, look at it--" said Ron, watching it disgorge its gaudy innards. "Harry, come and touch it, bet it's weird--"..."Harry, look what's happen--no--no, I don't like it--no, stop--stop--"
"One more lesson like that and I might just do a Weasley."
"...the handle's made of Spanish oak with anti-jinx varnish and in-built vibration controls..."- Ron.
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
"I need to see what Draco Malfoy is doing inside you." -Harry.
"Maybe it's better if you do it yourself. I didn't enjoy it when Dumbledore took me along for the ride." - Harry.
"You remind me of James. He called it my 'furry little problem' in company." -Lupin.
"You will not object to getting a little wet?" -Dumbledore. "
And she also blogged about zombies. I'm in love.