Yikes.

Secret shoppers have been preying on our poor restaurant. We've lost seven girls in one week, and half are due to low secret shopper scores. Here at hooters our performances are secretly tested by surveyors camouflaged as eager patrons. If we score a 90% or less we get a stern talking to. 80% or less and we lose hours or are even forced to work as a host for the next scheduled week. 70% or less and we are terminated. However, if we receive a 100%, we get a $250 bonus on our next check. Pretty nice tip huh. The problem with trying to get the 100% is that the criteria the secret shopper judges us with constantly changes and sometimes we aren't informed in time. We have sixteen steps we must deliver perfectly from the simple "HELLO!! Welcome to hooters!" to the dropping off of the check. While tending to six other tables, this seemingly simple task can become increasingly difficult. In addition to those steps, we must also inform the patron of our many promotions and calendar events, and our attitudes must be as pristine as our uniforms, of which our smile is its most critical component.

I am determined to get that $250 bonus. Watch out.